| 15-year-old me: | MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension* |
| me now: | for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance |
Notes
477296
Posted
8 years ago
I want a movie about a guy who runs for president and wins but then suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want to be president, so he just starts doing ridiculous things all the time trying to get impeached, but it NEVER WORKS because they always miraculously end up being the right thing to do. Like, he declares war on Canada? Next day it turns out that Canada had secret plans to nuke Washington. he bans Doritos? Turns out theyr’e the number one cause of cancer and natural disasters. He sends his vice president to jail? Turns out the VP was a terrorist in disguise. He has 100% approval rating, most popular president ever.
I’ve decided that I want him to be played by Jeff Goldblum.
(via godshideouscreation)
Notes
558238
Posted
8 years ago
witches around the globe → southern usa
the witches of southern usa are hungry creatures: they horrify and indulge the monstrous. dark and desolate, these witches live in abandoned decaying mansions, whisper their secrets to the dead and eating the living.
(via wrathfulclam)
Notes
5759
Posted
8 years ago
